I was very panicky and nauseous all day. I don't know why. It could have been the heat, it could have been nerves, I don't know. But I kept wanting to pass out and throw up and neither of those ever happened. I even tried sticking my finger down my throat, not to be unhealthy, but just because I felt like shit and REALLY needed to throw up.
Anyways. I went to the VIP after party for all of 20 minutes. I wandered around a bit, then suddenly everything started getting smaller and the singer of norma jean sat next to me, then travis from Gym Class Heroes and I just started internally panicking because I couldn't mingle and didn't know anyone except for AP people who were having fun so I didn't want to bother them. I don't know how to describe it, but I just freaked out. I felt the need to throw up again and hurried to the nearest trashcan, pushing the singer of Anberlin out of the way, him saying sorry. I dry heaved repeatedly and didn't throw up. So then I went to the bathroom and felt like throwing up again, more dry heaving, my head was pounding, I couldn't breathe and I got really really dizzy. I'm pretty sure I was having a panic attack. I was really embarrased even though no one was watching and so I just left. I called becker and started crying, then called my roommates and asked for a cab number, trying to hold back more tears. (I saw a cab on the street but she had someoen she had to pick up). And Becker I just rememberd I said I would call you when I got home but I left my phone upstairs and really don't feel like moving so I hope this will suffice lol. Anyways I finally got home and just kinda cried to my roommates which was really embarrasing. Just a few minutes ago I finally threw up. Which made my nausea go away which is a big relief because I've had it all day. I couldn't eat/drink anything without making it worse.
I think this is all from the fact that I've been off my paxil for four days. I wanted to wait till I went home again to get a refill which was obviously a bad idea. Fucking hell. I'm pathetic.
Anyways i just needed to get that out i'm sorry for all the spelling/grammer mistakes.