(no subject)

Hi everyone...
I just wanted to say that--please don't get offended by this--I will be making a huge friends cut soon. I've been going through some health issues lately and I'd really like to keep this journal for close personal friends I know/have known in real life because I'm really sensitive about some of it... Never fear, though, I've made another journal at xmusicxsavesx  that I'll be updating about less personal stuff.
I'll keep this up for a week or so, and then start the cut. Again, I promise it's nothing personal, and please add my other journal regardless! Muah.

Have a good night...


(no subject)

I've missed you, LJ.
I've been feeling shitty for about a week straight for various reasons.
I don't like it.
No, I don't.
Anyways. I'm pretty much over that. Music is still keeping me sane. It was Alec's birthday last night. Alec, Michaela, Becks and Alec's roommate Rachel came over and shroomed on out lol. I got Reeghan to come over and we went to One World Cafe. It was nice seeing her, nice to talk to someone. She works at Joann Fabrics now. I'll have to stalk her. I eventually want to paint something. Don't ask. I have effort.
I had a kind of pre-interview screening with Teach For America. They contacted me. I'm considering it, actually. Loan defferment? Hell yes.
My brother is hopefully coming to visit friday. I was just going to see him the weekend of the 17th when I go back to Toledo, but he might not do that now cause of financial issues. So I told him to megabus it here next weekend. Hopefully he can get Friday off and come. If not, I'm going to go out and buy Manda's bday present so I can give it to her early, since Thanksgiving will be after her bday.
I think I'm going to do a friends cut. I've been so horrible with keeping up with my friends page that I think I'm just going to keep close friends and/or people I know IRL. Please don't be offended if I cut you; it's honestly nothing personal, I just don't think it's fair to not read everyone's entries. Anyways. I should actually do my job. Peace, mo fo's.

(no subject)

Today was Warped tour. I will make a post about the good things about it later on, but right now I need to get a lot of stuff off my chest.

I was very panicky and nauseous all day. I don't know why. It could have been the heat, it could have been nerves, I don't know. But I kept wanting to pass out and throw up and neither of those ever happened. I even tried sticking my finger down my throat, not to be unhealthy, but just because I felt like shit and REALLY needed to throw up.

Anyways. I went to the VIP after party for all of 20 minutes. I wandered around a bit, then suddenly everything started getting smaller and the singer of norma jean sat next to me, then travis from Gym Class Heroes and I just started internally panicking because I couldn't mingle and didn't know anyone except for AP people who were having fun so I didn't want to bother them. I don't know how to describe it, but I just freaked out. I felt the need to throw up again and hurried to the nearest trashcan, pushing the singer of Anberlin out of the way, him saying sorry. I dry heaved repeatedly and didn't throw up. So then I went to the bathroom and felt like throwing up again, more dry heaving, my head was pounding, I couldn't breathe and I got really really dizzy. I'm pretty sure I was having a panic attack. I was really embarrased even though no one was watching and so I just left. I called becker and started crying, then called my roommates and asked for a cab number, trying to hold back more tears. (I saw a cab on the street but she had someoen she had to pick up). And Becker I just rememberd I said I would call you when I got home but I left my phone upstairs and really don't feel like moving so I hope this will suffice lol. Anyways I finally got home and just kinda cried to my roommates which was really embarrasing. Just a few minutes ago I finally threw up. Which made my nausea go away which is a big relief because I've had it all day. I couldn't eat/drink anything without making it worse.

I think this is all from the fact that I've been off my paxil for four days. I wanted to wait till I went home again to get a refill which was obviously a bad idea. Fucking hell. I'm pathetic.

Anyways i just needed to get that out i'm sorry for all the spelling/grammer mistakes.


Ok bitches listen up. This entry is going to be detailing the best fucking news I've gotten in my entire life. So I want some damn comments. Dead serious. Also, don't even think about any sarcastic or negative ones. I will hunt you down and kick your ass.


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  • Current Music
    Otep is my music and my religion


I also won a free massage cause I entered a drawing in a freaking GAS STATION for one!!!
I am so happy now it's un-freakin-believable.
I had to be the first person to guess a secret word they had hidden in their tour photos. The word was thanatos. The desire for death. It's in their new song "Ghostflowers." They gave three letters and I soo knew what it was, so I guessed before all the letters were given(the last one was going to be given on the 1st). and yeah! I FUCKING WON!!
Woo now i just have to wait for them to contact me and get my info lol.
  • Current Music
    special needs by placebo

(no subject)

woah amanda called me at 6. i think i was watching football then. it's probably too late to call back now. everything ok dude?
  • Current Music
    welcome to the black parade by my chemical romance


so i'm uploading this directly from flock! it's like deepest sender on firefox but BUILT IN! I know, right? i can drag and drop anything from my computer into anything online that lets you and it does all the html for me! it also has a toolbar thats my photobucket account so i can drag and drop from there too! this is freaking awesome. the only thing it doesn't have is the lj username tag tool button that lj has when you do entries, but that's gotta be kinda hard unless livejournal runs it. it doesn't matter though, i can use this for quick updates like i did when i had deepest sender and if i need more complex entries with lj usernames, ill just go to the site.

but seriously, flock is awesome. everyone should check it out. it has a really great interface too.

and omg. it gives me the option to "replace an already existing post" when i hit the publish button! ahhhh. ok im done now.

Blogged with Flock